Don't be Spooked About This in Retirement
Below is a fantastic guest from Certified Coach, Samantha Lane. We hope you enjoy and be sure to reach out to either Samantha or me with any questions. Happy Halloween!
There can be a lot of spooky things when change is on the horizon. Rather than goblins, mummies, or ghosts looming around the corner, it’s often anxiety, perfectionism, and despair rearing their ugly heads.
Retiring (semi or fully) should not be a season of angst. It can be one of great joy and adventure! There’s no doubt that this change will shake things up. But, rather than it haunting your sleep or unearthing ghosts… you can be armed and ready to leave the fright behind and confidently approach this new season.
As a Life Coach, I partner with men and women from all sorts of industries and backgrounds. Let’s look at some of these common culprits that leave folks spooked, and what you can proactively do about them.
1. I’m Terrified I Don’t Have it All Figured Out
For many years you have known what your days will look like. You have known where your energy will be allocated. Retirement receives a lot of pressure and attention from outsiders asking, “What will you do??”
This question, though well-intentioned, can leave us scrambling if we’re not exactly sure. Will I work on house projects? Volunteer? Watch the grandkids? Start a new hobby? Comparison influences us in an icky way thinking, “it seems like everyone knows exactly how their retirement will look!” (except me). As mature adults, there is pressure to know the grand plan, rather than simply answering “I don’t know. But I’m surely going to have fun figuring it out.”
2. I’m Scared, I’ll be Bored
You have looked forward to the promised-land stretch of retirement when you don’t have to jam all your leisure and chores into the weekend. While this new promise of rest and rejuvenation is enticing, sometimes, the blank canvas of a week is actually quite daunting. That Honey-Do list will be completed pretty quickly, the coffees with your friends will be had, and the “What's Next?” question will ring louder in your ears.
Retirement as a couch potato doesn’t sound fun at all! You know you want to pursue meaningful projects and continue contributing your skills to those around you. You want to have a balance of rest, activity, and relationships throughout your days. But, how do we build this? How do we strike the right balance for us with this newfound gift of time in our lives?
3. I’m Fearful We’ll Run Out of Money
It’s actually quite a dramatic pivot not to be discounted. You’ve spent a massive chunk of your life earning and saving. Week after week there has been the framework of working towards your retirement. Now, it’s all shifting, and your advisors are encouraging you to spend the reserves you’ve been so attentive to build. Talk about a mindset shift!
Many times, individuals and families have the graphs and figures to view and bring peace of mind for the next chunk of years, but this fear still creeps its way in and can bulldoze their intention to relax and enjoy this season.
Now that you know a few of the most common things people report that look big and scary, let’s explore three tips (treats!) so those goblins won’t pop out of the closet unexpectedly.
1. Let Your Strengths & Values be Your Guide
Yes, retirement is unknown territory, but you absolutely have what it takes to navigate it smoothly. Isn’t it wonderful that you get to take all the skills from your workplace with you to whatever’s next? They are not lost or forgotten!
I encourage you to stretch beyond the blinders of “this is what I’ve always done” and practice a posture of curiosity. Be curious about what brings you energy. Let yourself ponder “What if…” I create something new... go all-in on that passion project...get out of my comfort zone.. take an itty bitty step on that thing that seems absurd to try? (like writing a book, going skydiving, starting a nonprofit, etc...You know the desires of your heart!).
It is a lie that you have to have it all figured out. All you must do is take the next right step. Then check-in with yourself - realign if necessary - and take the next right step.
2. Don’t Go it Alone
Too often when we start to feel stressed we put our heads down and do whatever we can to push through. Unfortunately, this can result in tunnel vision which is not a great recipe for making wise decisions. Whether you’re in the thick of change or contemplating an upcoming change, it’s the perfect time to partner with a neutral-sounding board. Certified Life Coaches ask powerful questions and hold the space for you to get clarity on your life faster and with more energy than you would by plodding through the maze of decisions on your own.
3. Lean on Facts, Not Hearsay
Is that true? Is it really true? Sometimes, we can ask this question to ourselves and realize that the big hairy goblin we think we see is actually nothing but a field mouse. This is the time to strengthen your trust with your Financial Advisor about your projections and plan.
Ask any clarifying questions that are lingering. Look at the figures again. Create a budget that brings you peace of mind.
Each of these actions are tangible things you can do to minimize those emotions that have a way of overshadowing our experiences. When we check in with the facts, we’re arming ourselves with the best toolkit. When we let guesses, hearsay, or opinions get too much airspace, it’s detrimental to our energy and peace of mind.
Lumina Coaching and NextGen Wealth are equipped and excited to be your helpful resources. Remember, after all the fright of October passes, we get to celebrate the gratitude of November.
-Samantha Lane, AC
Samantha is an Associate Certified Coach with the ICF. She launched Lumina in May of 2016 and has since supported dozens of men and women to make wise decisions in times of transition. As a neutral sounding board, Life Coaching empowers the client to discern the clear path from the chaos and take purposeful action towards their goals. When she’s not on a coaching call, you can find her walking her Chocolate Lab, Leo, hanging out with her nieces and nephews, or on a yoga mat. You’re invited to sign up for a free Strategy Session here.